On a Pile of Stones

This semester we have a class where we share our life story with one another. This experience has forced me to look back and examine how I arrived at this place in life. As I prepare, I feel like I’m having flashbacks. The other day I was driving in the car and started to think about a painful episode as a child and something started to rise up within me. It was dark and it was ugly. I had to calm down and speak to myself remove the feelings. When soldiers return from war, they often have flashbacks, or mental dramas that recreate stressful scenes from the war and cause paranoia. Is this happening to me? Am I going crazy?

Maybe, maybe not - depends on who you ask :) But although my story is not as dramatic as a soldier back from the front lines, it's still real. There are so many moments of pain, insecurity, and confusion that rise from my life like bookmarks in an unfinished novel. But I don’t want them to paralyze me. I don’t want to constantly live looking over my shoulder. What do I do with the memories?

Thank God, I found some help in dealing with this from the Bible. After the Israelites had suffered through slavery, wandered through the wilderness, and lost a generation of people, God told them what to do with their troubling memories… Keep them and REMEMBER, I delivered you.

As the Israelites crossed over into the promised land, God told them to take stones from the Jordan River and set up a memorial (a place of remembrance; Joshua 4:1-3 below). Why? - ”He did this so that all the people of the earth might know that the hand of the LORD is powerful and so that you might always fear the LORD your God.” (Joshua 4:24) Wow, this is true!

While it is convenient to confess II Corinthians 5:17 (below) and act like some things never happened, that’s not healthy or realistic. What I realize now is that I have to keep my memories because they are apart of the narrative and testimony of my walk with God. This post today is my pile of stones, my memorial to the past. God, I remember all of the things from the past and thank YOU for delivering me.





God, how could you choose us? And after all of the ups and downs in our lives, how could we choose you? I believe it is because we were destined to be together with You. I believe You decided long ago that You loved us and wanted us as Your own. I believe the pain and the pleasures had a purpose. I pray we are able to recognize You and memorialize Your hand in our lives! Please deliver those who are still at places of pain and difficulty today. Remind us through others and from our own experiences that you are powerful enough to deliver. We love You because You first loved us. Amen.




(Mostly) Sane,
j.a.g.












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Joshua 4:1-3
1 When the whole nation had finished crossing the Jordan, the LORD said to Joshua,
2 “Choose twelve men from among the people, one from each tribe,
3 and tell them to take up twelve stones from the middle of the Jordan, from right where the priests are standing, and carry them over with you and put them down at the place where you stay tonight.”

II Corinthians 5:17 - Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!