YGT: 5 Ways to Confront a Friend in Sin

Ever know someone who was engaging in sin and you didn't know how to talk to them?  Ever been confronted about sin yourself?  (Shhh, come closer)  Ever wanted a friend to confront you about sin?  This can be one of the most challenging parts of living a Christian life.   How can I live faithfully in love and yet speak up when friends and family sin?  Such tender topics require special attention to scripture.  We can see John 8 for Christ's classic confrontation with some stoners (read it below).  From it, we see that Jesus spoke...

• After Waiting - Jesus didn't say something as soon as he was told about it, he paused and began to write.  (v.6)  Don't be "trapped" into responding quickly - ask the Holy Spirit to reveal what and how to approach the situation.

• In Private - Jesus waited until he was alone with the woman.  He never mentioned her sin until they were in private.  (v. 9)  Making a scene shows pride and self-righteousness - a friend wouldn't reveal someone's sin in public.

• In Person - Jesus didn't let the men make the decision about the woman, he did it himself.  He stood up and spoke to the woman.  (v.10)  Speak directly to your friend - no one deserves to hear about themselves from others.

• In Grace - Jesus didn't condemn the woman, he defended her.  In fact, he challenged those who didn't realize their own sin.  The word of God wasn't to be used to stone people, but to liberate them. (v.10-11)  Always examine YOURSELF first and express God's forgiveness, compassion, and love.

• In Truth - Jesus knew the word of God, and because of that he did tell her she was living in sin.  He told her not to sin anymore. (v.11)  Know the Word before you make conclusive statements but don't shy away from telling the truth as you know it.*

Thank You Jesus!  From his actions, we know we should be very careful in this matter, but not careful enough to avoid it.  Conversations about sin can be powerful moments in a friendship.  Yet talking without considering Christ's example can be disastrous.  Let us all be willing to discuss sin and also to be confronted at times we don't meet the standards God has called us to.  Let's always remember, Jesus defended a sinner and gave his life for a whole bunch of them!

Lord, please forgive me for times when I have not lived according to Your Word.  Thank You for friends, mentors, and family members who are courageous and Godly enough to confront me.  Please give me the same conviction and grace in approaching those I love in areas of sin.  Let it strengthen our relationships and bond us together as we embrace the fulness of Christ's sacrifice for us.  Thank You for Jesus!  Amen.

Looking in,

j.a.g.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
John 8:3-113 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 

4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 

5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 

6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 

7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 

8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 

10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

11 “No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

*Some of these are not universal.  Sometimes, you have to respond quickly (cases of abuse).  Sometimes, sin needs to be reprimanded publicly (social injustices come to mind).  Sometimes you may feel the Spirit urging you to talk to someone and you may still be figuring out exactly what the Word is saying to you.  However, each time you talk with someone it should be done in love and grace.  We should approach each conversation from the perspective of "How will God get glory out of this person's life (including their current situation)?"