On Fatherhood (soon-to-be)

Over the last six months, the most amazing thing has happened to me. I have become a soon-to-be father. My wife, Ashley, and I are expecting a baby girl (over 95% sure according to the ultrasound) at the end of June. It has been one of the most exhilarating, anxious, and curious times of my life. How will she be when she arrives? How will I be when she arrives? How will Ashley be when I arrive (back to reality)?

Lately, among the questions and emotions, I have been admittedly envious of Ashley’s ability to spend so much time with our daughter (who will be named Jocelyn). Because Ashley is the one physically pregnant, Jocelyn goes everywhere with her. She eats everything Ashley wants her to eat. She listens to the music Ashley listens to and is essentially controlled by Ashley. All the while, I must sit by and wait for opportunities to speak to Ashley’s belly or rub it to feel Jocelyn kick. Why can’t I get as much contact with Jocelyn? In no way do I want to question the laws of nature, but this makes me want to use one of my heavenly lifelines (Ask, Seek, Knock - Matthew 7:7 below). I’ll use my Ask - God, why would you make women have to carry the baby while men must sit on the sidelines? I believe the following are answers to this question:

To teach soon-to-be fathers how to love our wives… (Ephesians 5:25 below)
During pregnancy, I cannot make any physical difference in Jocelyn’s life unless I make it in Ashley’s life. The only way to feed Jocelyn is to feed Ashley. The only way to speak life into my daughter is to speak life into my wife. The only way I can be close to my daughter is by being close to her mother. What a revelation! God needs men to understand the value of loving their spouse. When we love our wives, we will love our children. This will translate to healthy relationships and a healthy self-image for the child. When Jocelyn sees how I treat her mother, she will understand how she should be treated by a man and respected by others.

To remind soon-to-be fathers who controls it all… (Matthew 5:36 below)
If you ever wanted to know how much control you really have, study the development of a child. From the moment he/she is conceived, a miracle begins. They turn from a bunch of cells into an embryo, an embryo into a fetus, a fetus into a baby and the entire time, you are on the outside…waiting and praying that everything goes ok. True, you can and should do some things to make sure the baby is ok (eat right, exercise, rest, etc.), but otherwise you control nothing. You can do nothing to make the baby taller, or darker, or smarter, or have a better singing voice (big in the Gilmore household!). You can only wait and pray. In a child’s life, fathers are contributors, but not controllers of God’s perfect will for them. God allows us to nurture and teach them, but their final outcome belongs to Him.

Ah, now I see. The times I want to be close to Jocelyn, I should focus on loving my wife and contributing to (not controlling) her growth. While I prepare for her to arrive, I will practice these principles and find peace in the calling of being - and becoming - a father.




Lord, thank You for the blessing of soon-to-be fatherhood. Please encourage fathers and mothers around the world in their special assignments as parents. Let us all keep You at the forefront of our relationships and homes. God, the sooner we realize we need love and we need You, the better off we will be. Please use this time of pregnancy to be a time of preparation and development. I love You and I pray that I am a father to Jocelyn as You have been to me. Just as You cannot wait until Your children arrive to You, I cannot wait until she arrives. And like you, I will spend every moment from now until forever loving, praying, and contributing to the growth of this new life.






Waiting for you,
j.a.g.







Matthew 7:7
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Matthew 5:36
Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black.