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| After I turned off Dora the Explorer... |
Lately, I’ve been considering cutting my locs. I’ve been growing them for nearly six
years and they can sometimes become a bit much. They're a bother most when I’m playing
basketball, rolling around with our daughter Jocelyn, and eating cereal (lol). However, as
much as I keep tossing this idea around, I just can’t see doing it yet. I’ve been pondering and praying about this
for a while now, but in short, I’ve come up with three reasons why I can’t cut
my hair:
1. Identity. As a black person in the USA, my locs give me a source of connection to my culture. This is not Africa, but when I run my fingers through my hair, I feel Africa. When I look in the mirror and see my hair knotting itself together, I see Africa. I see a person and a place that I cannot replicate here. Most images of success and beauty in this country are either Euro-centric or Euro-considerate. My locs are not. They don't conform to the norms of the society or even the norms I may have for them (get out of my cereal!). Instead, they force others (and me) to deal with the fact that I am African.
Personally, I love this. I
like how they feel and how they look.
I understand that in the country we live in, they make a
statement. It has become clear to me that when I walk into a room, I’m
immediately critiqued. We all are, of
course, but for some reason, people assume they know more about me than they
do. In some settings, I’m assumed to be a
thug, in others, uber-intelligent, in others, an athlete, in others, militant. No one has ever spoken openly about this to me, but their
comments and expressions give them away.
“You went to college?” “You’re
probably good at ___________” (enter African-American-ism here). “Don’t mean to offend you but ________________.”
(enter clueless racial relations comment
here). There have been dozens of accounts where this has happened subversively and I have had to appropriate it accordingly for the time being all the while thinking, "they don't know me".
Can I be honest? The truth is, I REALLY love this. I like that when you see me, you don't know what you're going to get. I like being unpredictable for at least a moment (outside of this, I'm fairly routine). I like that I cannot be defined by a simple glance. These things challenge me and they challenge others. My hair is a constant reminder of my blackness and it forces us all to either embrace it or deal with it...
Come back tomorrow for the other two reasons I can't cut my hair!
